The Balance
It's been nearly a month and a half, I have "about a month" of every-other-day posts on Bear. I have also been a subscriber for about a month; I built up some posts before throwing the switch, and then I quit posting for a while once "the backlog" emptied.
But it wasn't all backlog. Some of it was crammed in there to keep the posts flowing. Feeding Bear tried to take over my life for a bit, there. So I pulled back.
And then I wasn't really thinking. I wasn't trying to capture any ideas for later. I have no idea what I did the past two weeks.
Okay, I actually do know. I took a vacation from work and an intentional break from Bear. Half of the week went to trips. The half that was planned for outdoor projects and recreation was cancelled by both heat and intense wildfire smoke. The AQI nearly hit 300 locally.
I was so bored. I knit so much, I got a little tendonitis in my shoulder.
Then I got back to my job, and pushed out some more business code. I've found a rhythm there: I do great work on things that matter with my own mind in the morning, when it's fresh and sharp, and I save smaller, unimportant things to let Al bumble through in the afternoon slump.
But on the home front, I was still taking it easy, letting my shoulder heal, which was annoying. I had taken the deck off the riding mower to get under it and really clean the moldy bits off. The deck wash "feature" is best at the section it's next to, and not so much the far side. Having to wait to reassemble it, just so I didn't hurt myself worse, was torture. The grass doesn't stop growing.
the point
I don't like to work so hard that I don't have any time to think, to reflect, to improve, to identify opportunities. But spending all my time thinking, and writing those thoughts down, eats into my ability to do work.
And I deeply resent conditions that interfere with working.
In the end, I think I need to aim for "balance on average." To let the tides come in and out. To trust that overwork and overthink will both pass. To remember that not every tomorrow will be like today.